After the details sunk in and the revulsion wore off a bit, what happened in Portland, Ore., over the weekend settled into a low, droning case of the sads. Here we were at the new normal. The communist DSA city councilors, the woke mayor, his protester-loving police chief, and their kindred have virtue-signaled my hometown into the slovenly, low-expectations, burnished turd of a place that it is today.
And I have incontrovertible proof.
First, the cop shop usually sends out press releases on only the crimes most Portland people agree are, you know, bad or of high priority to Portlanders. So you know that limits things quite a bit.
For example, Portland has decided that teens who conduct street takeovers are bad actors. They're obviously a pain in the ass, block traffic, scare the children, and someone usually ends up hurt.
Official Portland really hates street takeovers, and everyone can get behind police efforts to stop them.
These episodes are usually followed by a Portland Police press release recounting how many cars were towed. Sometimes there are photos of crunched-up Nissans.
Everyone's a hero. Got it.
Drug dealers: bad. Unless they're homeless, but that's another story for another paragraph. So stay with me.
One time not long ago, the Portland Police Bureau sent out a press release about a bad guy caught on Skid Row for selling drugs he shouldn't have had. Drug dealers are anti-social. Everyone agrees.
We got a look at the photo that came along with the press release. No, not a photo of the bad guy we should be watching out for when they invariably let him out of jail without bail. Ever since Antifa members started getting caught, mugshotted, released — and Andy Ngo started showing their faces — Portland has stopped releasing mugshots to the public.
Mug shots: bad.
But we did get a photo. We got a look at the bad guy's booty. The drug dealer may have had, say, eight $1 bills in the photo. He was a high roller.
Meanwhile, Antifa and drug addicts who populate the streets with impunity and make everyone afraid are left to turn the city into the festering boil that it is.
Fun fact: The arrest of female Portland drive-by shooter Isis Symone Irving, in a politically and possibly racially motivated hate crime committed against a group of conservatives last February, has resulted in zero charges.
It was only after the gun was readied, aimed, and fired at the Donald Trump supporters that they realized it was a pellet gun. Pull a gun and not shoot it to ward off an onslaught of Antifa members coming to attack you for a second time? That'll get you thrown in jail in Portland.
Hey, is there a bomb in that dumpster being rolled by Antifa protesters in front of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) building in Southwest Portland over last weekend? Why, yes, there is.
Portland, Ore. (July 11) — Far-left extremists launched another violent conspiracy attack on the ICE facility, as they’ve been doing for over a year. pic.twitter.com/Nj8qdqTNJ6
— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) July 12, 2026
So here we are in mid-July, high tourist season — to the extent Portland has a tourist season anymore — and I received a Portland Police Bureau press release from over the weekend that actually shocked me. It was about an incident that happened near Tom McCall Park along the Willamette River in downtown Portland.
It's an area that is lovely when waifish men with matted hair aren't soiling themselves while bent over in their fentanyl folds.
"Dispatchers from the Bureau of Emergency Communication (BOEC) notified Portland Police Officers assigned to Central Precinct that a man was seen running around naked in the 1000 block of Southwest Naito Parkway," the press release started.
A naked man?
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The release continued and at this point I thought we might get a tick-tock of how many outraged people had called about a naked man "running around" in downtown Portland.
Not quite.
"At 6:55 p.m., dispatch advised officers that another caller stated the man tried to punch them in the head," it read. In other words, the only call at first came from someone who was angry that a man tried to punch him in the head. Being naked was the description of the perp.
Appreciate, if you will, the milieu of Portland and the fact that public nudity has been normalized in this city to the extent that the once-yearly Naked Bike Ride, which used to be held at night in deference to families and sanity, is now held often and in the daytime. Half-naked people splayed in a drug coma on the streets are a normal state of affairs.
But here we were being told about the naked man who was seen at 7:03 p.m. (when it's still light out in Portland in July), and then came a third caller who "reported that the suspect grabbed a young girl and pulled her away from her mother. With no available Central Officers, dispatchers sent officers from North Precinct," the press release matter-of-factly stated.
"When officers arrived, officers located the naked suspect wading in the Willamette River and arrested him," it read.
Hold up. The naked man did what?
He tried to kidnap a seven-year-old girl and got into a tug-of-war with mom. It got so bad that police say the child was lifted into the air. Fortunately, the mom and her husband, who was nearby, were from out of town. Any Portlander can tell you that if they went after the disgusting naked man trying to take their kid, they'd be arrested, and the guy would probably walk. That's only a slight exaggeration.
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Shockingly, however, the Portland Police Bureau presser read thusly:
The child's father, mother, and bystanders jumped in, punching, slapping, and pulling on the suspect. That prompted the man to release the girl. One bystander deployed an irritant spray at him trying to keep him away from people and prevent him from continuing his criminal actions. The victim and her family told officers that they are tourists visiting Portland from out of state.
If somebody had a pistol, it would have been a good shoot. It's lucky someone at least had chem spray.
Daniel C. Vasey, 31... was booked into the Multnomah County Detention Center on charges of Attempted Kidnapping in the First Degree, Attempted Kidnapping in the Second Degree, Custodial Interference in the First Degree, Assault in the Third Degree, and Harassment.
Arrested and the book thrown at him is unusual enough in Portland, but cops complaining about too few police on the job was a new wrinkle. The press release explained that no police could respond until several minutes later because there were "no available Central Officers" and "all police officers were busy with other calls including an incident involving a disturbance with a gun, and none were [sic] available to respond."
Portland, OR has too few cops. So despite several 911 calls, a naked crazy man was able to attack people for half an hour, eventually trying to violently abduct a 7-yr old girl.
— Anita Bartholomew (@AnitaBart) July 13, 2026
She was rescued by bystanders, as everyone awaited the cops.
FUND the police, damn it! https://t.co/VfOUPJlGfB
Portland's in real trouble. When the cops answering to the woke chief and the city apparatus openly complain about working conditions leaving Portlanders even more susceptible to crime, it's one of two things: Contracts are coming due or they're telling the truth.
Wake up, Portland.
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