Top O' the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The Sine Qua Non Sequitur is microdosing whimsy with an itinerant band of Qigong-curious haberdashers.
It's all over but the cheerleading. OK, and the voting.
For a couple of weeks I've been thinking of the words of Lt. Colonel Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse Now: "Someday this war's gonna end." If we're lucky, the "someday" for this midterm slog will arrive this week. Wishful thinking, I know. California might still be counting ballots from 2024.
Both Chris and Catherine wrote great motivational posts yesterday, which you should pass along to any fence-sitters you may know. Fortunately, we don't seem to have as many of them on this side of the aisle as we used to.
What I want to examine quickly today is the one given in this election: the Democrats will not be happy, no matter what the outcome. They're inherently miserable people, and forever in search of reasons to be aggrieved.
There's also the fact that their real goal is one-party rule, so no margin of victory is going to satisfy them. Rick wrote last week that Dems are pre-planning a tantrum as a response to any victory that isn't a blowout for them.
Yesterday, my good friend and partner in thought crime Stephen Green wrote a most sobering column that chronicles some real problems the left might cause should they find themselves in an extended fit of pique. To the surprise of no one, there is Soros money involved in some of it.
We live in an ever-changing world, but one reliable constant is that the Democrats will always be on their worst behavior. I remarked many times during the God-awful Biden puppet presidency that the Democrats never once acted like they got everything that they wanted in the 2020 election.
Hmmm... maybe they felt guilty about something. Kidding, they'd need consciences and a moral code for that.
It's pretty safe to say that the Democrats haven't gotten their emotions under control in the past couple of years. They're going to be ugly and subversive no matter what happens in this election. They'll be frothing and savage in pursuit of impeachment if they win, and they've got the Soros-funded "protests" queued up should they lose.
For a few more hours at least, we can hope that Soros has to spend some money.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
Here we go. Our friend Will gets this LONG Election Day Mailbag going:
Mr. Kruiser, you being from Arizona reminded me of Ladmo (Ladimir Walter Kwiatkowski) from my days living in Phoenix as a kid (1968-1972). I decided to wax nostalgic because of my concerns about Tuesday's elections, harking back to simpler times (at least, as a kid). Being from Tucson, I don't know if you remember The Wallace and Ladmo Show, but it was fun programming and Ladmo was the standout (to me, at least), with the brat Gerald a great (hated) foil. You can find clips from the show on YouTube. I hope I will want to return to the present on Wednesday.
Do I remember The Wallace and Ladmo Show? I was ON it! I was born in Tucson, but I didn't grow up here. I left when I was four and didn't move back until I went to high school. I lived in Phoenix from 1969-1971 (Most Holy Trinity Catholic School!), and I think it was my Cub Scout troop that got to be on the show. Ladmo was a favorite because of the Polish-American cred. Kwiatkowski was the maiden name of one of my great-grandmothers. Well, Kwiatkowska, because Polish is very particular about everything.
George S.G. gets in on the radio reminiscences:
Sir Stephen, There have already been a few WLS-lovers in the mailroom, but I thought I'd add my reminiscences (mid-60s-early 70s). I would do my homework to Dex Card playing the entire top 40 on his 2-6 PM show. I also liked listening to Art Roberts before going to bed. All those guys were great. Side note: does anybody else remember the competition: WCFL ("Super CFL")?
If I'm not mistaken, I think that WLS was one of the first big AM music stations to flip to the all-talk format. Isn't it amazing that we still remember the names of the radio DJs from 50 or more years ago? That says something about radio's cultural impact back then.
DRUMROLL PLEASE...it's deviled eggs time. First up is FOTB Doug F:
Kruiserman - Never forget it was a Top of the Briefing Sine Qua Non Sequitur line that got the deviled egg cult started. It's all his fault.
Right you are. The SQNS is a straight-up cult leader.
DPR is back with this:
Great mailbag this morning and I'll be dreaming of deviled eggs until I make some later today. No need for bread to make it a meal; just eat the whole (two) dozen. A great diversion from the intense fear of waking up on the outskirts of Bagdad on Thursday. Great memories of Animal Stories with Lujack and Little Snot-nosed Tommy. They were always part of my morning production meetings. Best one was a guy who caught a skunk in a trap in his basement. Someone told him they couldn't spray if they were enclosed. He didn't realize a cage didn't fit the bill! Found a collection of them on YouTube that will go nicely with your new book.
Now I have another YouTube rabbit hole to go down. Enjoy the eggs!
Marlene B. is really classing up the cult:
My offering for this cult: top the eggs with caviar.
Yes. Just yes. For America.
The cult is bringing new friends into the Mailbag fold, like Marty C. here:
Hello Mr. Kruiser, Long time reader -- first time emailer. My wife is expected by our group of friends to bring deviled eggs to every gathering because hers are just so, so very good. The normal recipe is just the filling with a dusting of paprika and several bacon bits -- homemade of course. My favorite has toppings of cold smoked salmon, capers and a sprig of fresh dill. And by the way, did you know you can deep fry deviled eggs? I don't want to oversell it. It's more novelty than life changing. But she does it every fifth or sixth time.
Let's just do all of that, Marty. I'm committed to experimenting with all of these variations. I should have more time to spend in the kitchen after this week. And welcome to the MoM!
The Deviled Eggs Cult portion of today's Mailbag will conclude with this from Wanda T:
Hi! In all the discussion about deviled eggs (which I love), I've not seen the most important ingredient mentioned. That is, the eggs! My pampered backyard chickens lay eggs with yolks the color of summer marigolds, and make the most delicious deviled eggs ever. I think everyone should have a coop in the yard. Chickens are entertaining, too, sort of like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. Happy eating,
I was just talking to someone last weekend about how much I would love to have chickens. And goats. I travel too much for that right now, though. Someday.
Our friend Momster is back:
Dear Mr. Kruiser: “Jodhpurs in the Bundt Pan?” Is this anything like “Who Put the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder?” My Dad explained to me how the overalls got into the chowder in a way that made sense. I am not too sure about how jodhpurs in a Bundt pan could come about. I suppose I will have to buy it to find out. My father’s explanation made sense. I don’t know if I have as much faith in you as I did in Dad. At least it is sure be a glorious ride! But will there be songs written about it? Your faithful fan.
It's always fun when readers have moments of weirdness that are weirder than me. I appreciate you.
Mary W. is another Mailbag first-timer:
Hi there Long time lurker first time writer here. Putting diaper filling and delicious in the same sentence prompted me to reply for the first time! 😝. Fan Mary from Kansas
One of my favorite things about writing here is the creative challenge when I really, really want to be expressive, but have to keep things family-friendly. I'm grateful that you appreciated it and thanks for writing!
Our final email of the day comes from Randy K:
On Monday's episode of "Five O'Clock Somewhere," I told Mr. Green that I thought maybe five people would appreciate that line. He liked it, I'm glad you did too. Quite often, if I write something that I'm entertained by, I am an audience of one. That's been especially true for me in stand-up. If I really like something, I'll roll the dice. YAHTZEE!
While I greatly appreciate all of the emails, I won't always answer this many in one day. This is an Election Day treat. Distractions can save lives. Thanks, everyone!
Everything Isn't Awful
Making friends.. 😊 https://t.co/a1KbOMar6F
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) November 2, 2026
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Dalí painted The Lugubrious Game (1929) as he entered the orbit of the Paris Surrealist community. The painting functions as a visual manifesto, conveying taboo motifs, tight draftsmanship, and dream logic that resists explanation. https://t.co/M562ViOAoi
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