Top O' the Briefing
Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The vodka fountain will be available immediately after retreat-goers have visited the Cold Plunge of Insufficient Melancholy.
Emotions have always been the cornerstone of what the Democratic Party is all about. Their policies have never withstood intellectual scrutiny, so they manipulate the voters' emotions in order to polish up the fecal nuggets that they are selling.
It's been a good gig for them. Democrats aren't bound by any kind of code that requires honesty, so they are able to promise anything and everything, all the while insisting that taxpayer-funded programs are "free."
The thing is, the Democrats of yesteryear had a lot of emotions. Here in the Trump era, anger is the only thing that any of them are feeling. Their big policy pitch to the electorate is, "We hate Trump." Yes, they're still promising "free" stuff, but even that has taken a back seat to the Trump hate. Most Dem candidates this year can't string together two sentences without saying "Trump."
Trump Derangement Syndrome makes that anger bubble to the surface in very ugly ways. It also renders them unable to mask the ugliness, even during an important election year. Here's an example of that from noted Dem voter Stella Parton, which my Twitchy colleague Just Mindy wrote about. This is from her post:
🚨Just in: Dolly Parton Sister, Stella Parton called for the death of Elon Musk on Facebook “To think people like Musk and Russian bots may be upended another election makes my skin crawl. May they all die and worms eat them.” She says her ballot kept defaulting to Blackburn https://t.co/SRM58qETpC
— The Calvin Coolidge Project (@TheCalvinCooli1) October 22, 2026
She seems nice.
Look, everyone grieves differently, but I've never wished death on anyone when I was mourning the passing of a loved one. Come to think of it, I've never wished death upon anyone. It's obvious that I wouldn't be a very good fit in the Democratic Party.
Stella Parton isn't an outlier among the Dems. These are the people who will be voting for the people who may end up holding a lot of power in the United States government. Some of them are already in place. They've all been very open about what they want to do if they're in charge again.
My latest column is about the brouhaha surrounding Michigan Senator Elissa Slotkin and her very public call for the weaponization of the government in order to frighten young people from wanting to have anything to do with Republican politics. I get into the fact that Slotkin was running with an idea that former Barack Obama Naziette Susan Rice put forth earlier in the year.
We saw how quickly and vigorously the people running Joe Biden's brain were to turn the Department of Justice into a goon squad that was focused on destroying anyone who supported President Trump. Their mood has soured considerably since then, so it isn't a stretch to assume that they will be a bigger nightmare if given another crack at forcing their way to one-party rule.
I think that this mood is permanent. A big victory won't make the Democrats even a little bit happier. They have a sick gift for finding reasons to be aggrieved under any circumstances. Republicans will always top that list of reasons. They spent the four years that Biden was drooling his way through the presidency acting as if they had been destroyed in the 2020 election.
Yes, I was being snarky in the headline about the Ativan. Mostly snarky. It probably would help.
I was dead serious about giving them an election defeat, though. Again, they're going to be miserable anyway, so let's help them really lean into that.
Have a great weekend.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
Grace C. will get things started today:
Dear Stephen, I was a young woman living in Wisconsin when Senator Proxmire gave his Golden Fleece Awards. Those were the days - humor and Schadenfreude.
It almost doesn't seem possible that there was a time when a prominent Democrat in Congress repeatedly called out governmental misuse of taxpayer money. I remember it too, though! We often talk about 20th century Democrats who would be moderate Republicans today. Proxmire would be one of them. The Golden Fleece Award would have gotten him run out of today's Democratic Party.
This is from FOTB Paul S:
Amen Brother! "The federal bureaucracy exists solely to bloat and perpetuate itself."
There are some quotable gems in Don't Let the Hippies Shower. That one has gotten a lot of mileage over the years. I will soon be starting a "Groomer" update to the book.
FOTB Sharon P. writes:
So right, Kruiser! When you D'on't look, you D'on't find! What a difference an administration makes. Most Trump cabinet appointees, including DOGE members, dug in and uncovered fraud in all the right places at unbelievable sums in less than 2 years - and still looking! The Biden 'ne'er-do-wells' were not 'shovel ready' for their jobs; took their paychecks for 4 years of doing nothing! D's frauding us!
It's a perpetual grift for the Dems. The Virginia counties closest to D.C. are some of the wealthiest in America. The only thing being manufactured there is bureaucratic bloat.
Marlene B. is in a state after yesterday's SQNS:
Bedazzled Dickies. I envision Randy Quaid modeling an array. Be still my heart!
Well, I won't be shaking that mental image for a while. My readers' enjoyment is the priority here, so I'm glad it does something for you! Also, "Bedazzled Dickies" would be a great name for a ska band.
Dale S. is today's parsley historian (we have everything here):
Ackshually...parsley was put on the plate as a breath freshener post dining. I miss it. When are we having a Morning Briefing National Convention? I need a road trip. I also need a lottery win. Hancock says: "Good Job."
I do remember that's why it was put on plates. I don't remember it ever freshening anyone's breath.
Our friend Dave A. will take us into the weekend with this comment on my column from Wednesday:
Kruiser, I normally don't hit you two days in a row, but in your article about the Dems lack of buyers remorse, I have to give you props for the line " The last original thought any of them had involved discerning the flavor profiles of various boogers when they were children." What a great way to describe those who think they have all the answers when in reality they do not know the questions! Keep fighting the good fight my man.
Well, thank you. That wasn't the greatest flex of my vocabulary, but I thought it made the point very well. It's definitely the first time I've ever used "boogers" in a column. Not gonna lie, it felt right.
Great Mailbag activity this week! Thanks, everyone!
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