Top O' the Briefing
Happy Wednesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Tynnisswellbundth surprised many with his success selling artisanal unguents to itinerant kelp harvesters in Newfoundland.
On this past Monday's episode of Five O'Clock Somewhere, my good friend and partner in thought crime Stephen Green and I were discussing the monumentally feckless leadership in France. I mentioned that it is impossible for the people in charge to formulate a coherent plan of action against the rioters because none of them are being honest about what's actually happening.
As is always the case with leftist politicians who traffic in derrière-covering narratives, media hacks are providing a generous assist in the charade. French leftist paste-eaters like President Emmanuel Macron have the luxury of getting backup from Francophile morons in the American mainstream media.
For example, here is something that was shared in a post written by my Twitchy colleague, Warren Squire:
Abby Phillip smugly waves off the idea that the rioting and violence in France has anything to do with immigration and "the brown people coming in." She wants her panel to understand it's *actually* about debt, bond rates and unemployment. Add this to the 'schools and textbooks' list. This is CNN.
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) October 20, 2026
The number of half-truths, non-truths, and brain-dead statements that Abby Phillip makes in a week is difficult to track without NSA computers. It's not surprising that she's passionate about one of the most absurd spin attempts we have seen in a long time. Most of CNN's on-camera personalities are immune to the smell of bull you-know-what.
As I wrote in Monday's Briefing, these people have been lying to everyone and themselves for so long that they don't know that they are lying anymore. That applies to most of the people who have worked for The New York Times, The Washington Post, or CBS News in the last half century. It wasn't always the case at CNN, though.
True, CNN has never been a real friend to conservatives, but it wasn't a sworn enemy for much of its history. Oddly enough, it was most fair when it was owned by its founder, the late Ted Turner, who was a raging lefty. Trump Derangement Syndrome has ruined a news organization that once had a modicum of credibility.
I know that CNN isn't actually "viewer-less," as I wrote in the headline. Ratings-wise, however, the network is a mere shell of its former self. Given the fact that it keeps paying the likes of Abby Phillip and Kaitlan Collins, it doesn't seem to care.
Newly formed super mega mongo corporation Skydance can afford to keep ratings sinkhole CNN around as a vanity project in perpetuity if it wants to. Lefties have been freaking out about Skydance, but I don't think that any wholesale changes in the CNN hackfest model are imminent.
Sadly, the prevarication pimps there will probably have time to wait for their friends, the Democrats, to get a little more juice in Washington.
"The Kruiser Kabana" has its first very special episode: OK, they're all pretty special. However, I want this episode to be heard by a lot of people, so I'm making it all-access for a couple of weeks. I had a conversation with Madisan DeBos from the Independent Women's Forum about her experiences with the trans insanity in women's sports. Here's the column I wrote about it. The podcast is embedded at the end of it. Please give it a listen!
Contributions to the Mailbag of Magnificence can be sent to kruisermb@gmail.com
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
After an intense start to the week, things got a bit quiet. Two quickies, then we're outta here for the day. We start with FOTB Jonathan S:
A bit of humor: you wrote, "The Sine Qua Non Sequitur is spending the day at a "Chia Hal Linden Stress Relief" retreat in a mid-priced hotel somewhere in the Poconos. " All Mr. Linden needs to do is revert to his "Barney Miller" persona and==bravo! No mess, no stress. BTW back in 1990 I was stationed in Okinawa and volunteered to be the auctioneer for a "celebrity auction". No people, of course, but some items like a football autographed by Terry Bradshaw. Some folks from Pittsburgh paid $65.00! One of the other items was a necktie which Mr. Linden had worn on a "Miller" episode. No recollection how much that one garnered but I gave it my best shot. On a much more serious note, you wrote this in reply to Cathy A: "I don't doubt that the, um, students would love to have a go at the churches. " Two sets of two words: Notre Dame (from a few years back) and Hagia Sophia. May we never forget.
OK, $65 was a steal for the Bradshaw ball. I'm a Steelers fan and would have ponied up a LOT more than that in 1990 dollars for it. The Barney Miller necktie was practically priceless, though.
This from Allen L. will wrap it up:
Holy smokes, Kruiser! SQNS claims there are medium-priced hotels in the Poconos! I was absolutely led to believe that medium-priced ANYTHING in the Poconos simply didn't exist! Especially since the Biden maladministration. What happened? Did the SQNS cash in some frequent-hotel miles?
Full disclosure: every time I've been to the Poconos, it was for a gig or to stay with friends. I've never paid for a hotel there. In fact, comedians rarely ever pay for hotels. I like my own home too much to leave the house unless someone is paying for my hotel and whatever jokes I tell in public at my destination. I'll stay an extra day or two if they're picking up my beer tab too.
We are never guaranteed another day, but the Mailbag plans on being back tomorrow.
Everything Isn't Awful
Don't forget, your otters need watering too https://t.co/04QMVpFkcZ
— Nature Unedited (@NatureUnedited) October 17, 2026
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The Kruiser Kabana
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Church in Labastide du Vert #artbots #martin https://t.co/mNuhGxSb0V
— Henri Martin (@HenriMartinArt) October 20, 2026
Kabana Comedy/Tunes
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