John was a World War II veteran (and a good family friend) who served as General George S. Patton’s secretary. John was also obviously, unambiguously gay. Not that he ever announced he was gay, but it was the kind of situation where he didn’t have to. (He had the same “roommate” for 50+ years.)
About 25 years ago, at a big military gala, my father — a retired lieutenant colonel — was chatting with some of the World War II vets who served with John. The topic of his sexuality came up.
“I mean, we all knew John was gay,” one of them said, “but it wasn’t a big deal because he didn’t make it a big deal. He just did his job — and he did it really well. We had more important things to worry about.”
Instead of seeing John as a caricature or a stereotype, they saw him as an individual — and judged him accordingly. Imagine that! Seems simple, doesn’t it?
But the 1940s were a very long time ago.
Lindsey Graham’s sudden death is the talk of D.C. A lifelong bachelor, Graham always insisted he was a red-blooded heterosexual. Look at this young, smooth-talking “playa” make Leslie Stahl blush like a schoolgirl:
Lindsey Graham, 2002: “I’m not married so my gameplan is—20 years from now—go to the Miss South Carolina pageant and pick out the winner.” pic.twitter.com/30iyHyV6Z0
— Jessy Han (@hjessy_) July 12, 2026
Yessir! That Lindsey Graham is a man’s man! Must be why he never got married: No woman could ever tame him.
(Too much of a wild stallion, I guess.)
I worked in South Carolina talk radio in the early 2000s. (Shout out to 1250 WTMA, “Your news-talk leader in the Low Country.”) At the time, the sexual escapades of South Carolina politicians were fodder for gleeful gossip — especially our nonagenarian senior senator, Strom Thurmond. More than one Capitol Hill staffer told me his behind-the-scenes nickname was “Spermin’ Thurmond” — and his eye for (much younger) ladies was the stuff of legend.
This was a few years before Lindsey Graham became a senator. Back then, he was still just a congressman, but everyone in South Carolina already knew who he was.
Rep. Graham was an ascending superstar; his political talents were obvious. From pressing the case in President Bill Clinton’s impeachment trial to his (nonstop) visits to TV studios, Graham was inescapable.
As were the rumors that followed him.
Because I certainly heard them. WTMA’s reporters heard them. Our audience heard them.
It was an open secret: Lindsey Graham was gay, but he stayed in the closet to protect his political career.
Yet despite this rumor’s enduring popularity, it’s entirely possible it wasn’t true at all. Who knows for sure?
Sex scandals and South Carolina go together like Jack and Coke. It’s why Frank Underwood, the bed-hopping antihero/villain of House of Cards, was a South Carolina congressman. The aforementioned Strom Thurmond was 66 years old when he married a 22-year-old Miss South Carolina beauty queen. (The child Thurmond fathered with a 16-year-old black domestic servant wouldn’t be made public until after his death.) Gov. Mark Sanford’s oddball affair with an Argentinian woman led to “hiking the Appalachian Trail” becoming a euphemism for sexual dalliances. Subsequent South Carolina governors, including Nikki Haley, were dogged by similar rumors of marital infidelities.
But Lindsey Graham stayed scandal-free. He never embarrassed his supporters.
Not even once.
His critics, however, tried to use the rumor to embarrass him — and to discredit his most-cherished beliefs:
Why are so many neocons closeted gay Republicans? pic.twitter.com/WBYO6vHClr
— TCN (@TCNetwork) May 2, 2025
That was the PR power of the rumor: Tucker Carlson didn’t even have to mention Sen. Graham by name. All he had to do was say “closeted” and “neocon” — and Matt Walsh knew who Carlson meant.
We all knew who Carlson meant.
As far as I know, there never was a smoking gun that “outed” Sen. Graham. It was the constellation of facts — unmarried man, soft voice, no kids, certain mannerisms — that gave the rumor a life of its own. (Plus, the name “Lindsey” doesn’t exactly scream rugged masculinity.) According to his 2015 memoir, My Story, he nearly married a Hungarian flight attendant named Sylvia, but she stayed in Europe to care for her ailing mother. And so, like ships that pass in the night, they parted company forever.
Now that he’s dead, it’s possible we’ll hear more than we ever wanted about Graham’s personal life. Death has a way of opening lips.
His body is still warm, but some very nasty allegations are already being aired.
Of course, it’s also possible that these allegations are bull[expletive]. It’s easy to lie about someone when they’re not around to defend themselves.
Especially on social media. Especially in an ecosystem that monetizes click-worthy accusations, no matter how absurd, untrue, or implausible.
Just ask Charlie Kirk.
Still, the contrast between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party is glaring. For all the talk of the GOP’s “homophobia” and “closed-minded Christian morality,” Sen. Graham was welcomed into the Republican Party with open arms. He was so welcomed that he confidently ran for president in 2016.
He was treated as an individual — instead of as a cardboard cutout for a preassigned special interest group.
Sen. Graham carved his own identity as a military hawk, an unapologetic interventionist, and a global champion of freedom. If you were an ally of America, Graham would defend you until his dying breath.
Which he came damn close to doing, dying immediately after visiting a Ukrainian drone factory.
And now, he’s gone. But he won’t be forgotten.
We’ll remember him for the man he was and the beliefs he had. We’ll remember him for the actions he took — his faithful service for our country — and how ferociously he defended his friends.
We’ll remember him as a man of courage.
I still don’t know if Graham was gay, straight, asexual, or none of the above. But I never really cared about that — and neither did 99% of the Republican Party.
It was a nonissue because Graham made it a nonissue.
Whether you’re serving in the House, in the Senate, or in General George Patton’s Third Army, you’re there to do a job. Nothing else matters.
Either you’re capable of doing the job — or you’re not. Graham was.
And he was one helluva Senator.
One party sees you as a letter in the LGBTQ+ alphabet. The other sees you as an individual: special, unique, and created in the image of God.
The rumors that dogged Graham in life will follow him in death. That’s unavoidable. But what it reveals about both parties matters infinitely more than the rumors.
Godspeed, Sen. Graham. You did good.
One Last Thing: 2026 will reach a crescendo with the midterm elections. Nothing less than the fate of the America First movement teeters in the balance.
Never before have the political battle lines been so clearly defined. Win or lose, 2026 will transform our country.
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