Well, this is embarrassing, and I can't believe I'm about to share it, but what can I say? It's a slow news day.
If I had to guess, I'd say there are very few people on the planet who have never had a crush on another person. Google defines a crush as a "strong, often short-term romantic attraction to someone you are not in a relationship with."
I guess it happens to some more than others — I specifically remember my mom, my aunt, and my best friend and I sitting in a restaurant one June day after Vacation Bible School (VBS), and I was carrying on about how cute the VBS director's teenage son was. I couldn't have been more than eight or nine at the time, and my mom finally leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Stop being so boy-crazy." Apparently, he was not the first boy I'd taken a liking to that summer, and he certainly wasn't the last in my lifetime.
And now we're to the embarrassing part. A month or two ago, a guy followed me on social media. I knew who he was because he works with some mutual friends, and they mention him sometimes, but I've never met him myself. We have a lot in common, so I followed him back, and over the next few weeks, we liked some of each other's posts, but I never thought much about it. That turned into leaving comments and a few general private messages, but no major conversation. The more of his content I watched, the more I realized he was kind of cute and lives a fairly interesting life.
By this past Friday night, I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if he'd posted anything new. I guess it's sort of the 2026 version of driving by the guy's house after school every day and hoping he's outside or going to the store where the girl works to catch a glimpse of her running the register on weekends. After a few days of this, I was like, Sarah, what are you doing? You are a grown woman with a lot of stuff on your plate at the moment. You do not have time for a silly teenage crush.
But the truth is that it kind of felt like exactly what I needed. My life has been sort of heavy lately for a few reasons beyond my control, and seeing this guy post pictures from a beach trip with his mom or some silly meme he liked or simply seeing him pop up in my feed gave me something to laugh and smile about.
This led me to some research, and, as it turns out, crushes are actually good for you (to an extent), and they're not limited to hormone-charged teenagers. We get them at all ages, and some people even get them when they're in perfectly happy monogamous relationships with other people.
No matter your personal situation, the outcomes are often positive. They bring fun and excitement into your life. They can make your monotonous days a little less boring. For those in relationships who may feel stuck but are committed, they can give your sex or fantasy life a boost without committing adultery. Some people even say that it improves their relationships with their partners. Others say a little crush helps them feel better about themselves or boosts their self-esteem.
But as someone who is not in a relationship, that doesn't currently apply to me. Experts suggest that having a crush on someone else can help us get to know ourselves better. When we learn more about who we find attractive, we learn more about our own values and what's important to us. We also discover what we don't like about ourselves and may take steps toward self-improvement. (I find it no coincidence that within 48 hours of developing this little crush on this guy I mentioned, I was back to my workout routine.)
Crushes activate the brain’s reward and motivation system and give us dopamine hits that can fuel energy, motivation, and attention in other aspects of our lives. It also just makes you feel good.
Of course, there are also downsides too. Crushes can lead to feelings of guilt, especially if you or the object of your desire is in a relationship. The same hits of dopamine that make you feel good can also become addictive or make you obsessive. That can be especially powerful when there is a great deal of uncertainty surrounding the crush. Crushes can also be irrational and make us go after people who aren't exactly compatible. Been there, done that.
Ultimately, I've come to the conclusion that maybe this whole having a crush isn't a bad thing for me. I'm single. The guy is single. No guilt there. As I said, things around here have been heavy lately, mostly because my dad's pretty sick, and it's been sort of a fun escape from the monotony of life. The older I get, the more I want to let my hair down and live a little, and I'd say embracing a fun social media back-and-forth with a cute guy is probably not the worst thing I could do. And if you've got a little crush on someone — and the situation is appropriate for it — I encourage you to have a little fun too. Who knows where it will lead?
