The natives of Ibiza, Spain, are restless. Last month, they staged an “occupation” of a local beach, which the Ibiza Youth Association organized. Their grievance? Their manifesto reads that “our land and our culture are being directly pushed out of public spaces, and increasingly out of private spaces.”
Fair enough, and had I been there, I would have joined them. What Spaniard wouldn’t recoil at the site of 60,000 military age Muslim men pouring across the border at Ceuta, past the indifferent or abetting local officials? The Re-Reconquista is in full swing, with an estimated 2.5 million Muslims already in Spain to undo the efforts of Ferdinand and Isabella.
Oh, but wait. Turns out, it’s not the millions of sociopathic medieval conquerors of which the Spaniards grow weary. It’s you and me. It’s tourists. This, despite the fact that 84% of Ibiza’s economy is dependent on tourism.
"We have decided that we want to reclaim places of tranquility,” the manifesto continues. And that’s fine. But then you lose the 4.548 billion euros that tourism brought you in 2025 alone. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both. And you can’t then complain about not having both.
The quaint folks of Ibiza aren’t alone in their economic illiteracy. Indeed, it appears to be a recurring European plague. On the mainland in Barcelona, demonstrations against tourism are a regular occurrence, complete with physical attacks on tourists themselves, whilst calling them “bastards” and “terrorists.” Similar tantrums have taken place in Portugal, France, and Italy.
It’s not that the protesters don’t have some legitimate grievances. Over-tourism is a problem for everyone, both locals and tourists alike. Ginormous cruise ships should not be docked off the shores of Venice. The loud music, the rudeness, the entitlement, I get it. As a tourist myself, I cringe at the lack of basic decency in the crowds around me.
But if you want to kill your cash cow, you better have a replacement cow in place. Such as some sort of manufacturing or industrial base. Or a business hub. Or IT development. Places such as Singapore and Taiwan would easily continue to thrive without a single tourist. Why can’t southern Europe?
Spain spends over 25% of their GDP on social and welfare benefits (in Italy, it’s 28%; in France it’s 31%). The average work week in these three countries averages 35 to 36 hours. The unemployment rate in Spain alone stands at 10% (the rate in the United States is less than half that; in Japan and South Korea it’s a quarter that).
Anyone who has traveled to southern Europe knows that the work ethic normally associated with their northern European brethren and American counterparts simply doesn’t exist. The culture is beautiful, exotic, and tranquil. It’s also lazy as hell.
The entire place shuts down a little after noon for their three hour “break.” Maybe they’ll reopen for the late afternoon, maybe they won’t. Outside the big cities, good luck finding a restaurant, or anything for that matter, open after dark.
Again, if you want to preserve the local culture, more power to you. But you can’t have the quiet local culture, and the ridiculous social welfare benefits, and a work ethic that makes Jabba the Hut look positively industrious. That’s not the way the world works. And yet you insist on electing socialists to power who tell you that this should be the way the world works, and then continue to complain when it doesn’t.
Deep down, a part of you knows this is an impossibility. A part of you knows that these snake oil salesmen you elect are simply telling you exactly what you want to hear. A part of you know your outward anger and frustration is misplaced.
Our tourism funds your lazy lifestyle (our military protection does as well, but that’s another story). Do you know what doesn’t fund your lazy lifestyle? Importing millions of military-age males who have no intention whatsoever of assimilating to your “places of tranquility,” nor paying the taxes required to maintain them.
So don’t take out your anger on us. Take a good, hard look in the mirror, and be honest with yourself about where your frustration lies. Your lands will continue to attract two distinct groups of outsiders, albeit from very different cultures and with very different motives.
I’m in the first group, the tourists. Here’s our offer. We’ll continue vacationing in your beautiful country, enjoying your food, appreciating your culture and history. Some of us will be obnoxious and rude, but let’s face it. There are obnoxious and rude people everywhere, and plenty of European natives have been obnoxious and rude to tourists as well.
When we come there, we’ll continue to pump billions of our dollars into your local economies, almost singlehandedly propping up your Mediterranean lifestyles. We’ll rarely venture outside the tourist areas. And if we do, it will be done largely by people curious to see more of your country for the sake of learning and experiencing new things.
We will stay for a week, two tops. Then we’ll go home and rave about what a wonderful place your country is. You get to keep all our money and you’ll never have to see us again.
And as a bonus, let me tell you what we won’t do. We won’t arrive on your shores by the millions and immediately demand welfare benefits. We won’t demand that you assimilate to our culture, to our language, and to a death cult religion which makes the Aztecs look like the Amish. We won’t rape your women and murder your men. We won’t plow trucks through crowds of your citizens. We won’t run sex trafficking rings for underage girls. And we won’t turn entire neighborhoods into third-world hellholes.
That’s the deal we, the tourists, have presented you.
As Vizzini said in The Princess Bride, “I doubt you will get such an offer from the eels.”