There was a time when two men could disagree about nearly everything that matters — taxes, spending, the size of government, the soul of the country — and still sit down together at the end of the day and share a drink. Not as a political stunt. Not for a photo op. But because they genuinely respected each other as human beings. That time feels impossibly distant now. What replaced it says something uncomfortable about where we are — not just as a country, but as people. And the question worth asking is whether anyone actually wants it to change.
I was born in 1980, so I don’t remember much about the Reagan years in terms of politics. But I know the story of Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill well enough to understand why it matters. Here were two men who were political opposites in every meaningful sense. They fought hard over the things Democrats and Republicans usually do, but they operated by an unwritten rule: politics ended after hours.
According to what I’ve heard, at the end of the day, they could still have a drink together. That personal rapport wasn't just pleasant — it was productive. It led to genuine compromise. Reagan and O'Neill proved that fierce disagreement didn't have to mean personal animosity. Their relationship became a model for how mutual respect makes governing possible.
The problem is that Washington doesn't work like that anymore. Not even close.
Maybe their relationship was always the exception rather than the rule. But I've been involved in politics long enough to know that something fundamental has shifted over the past 40 years, and not in a good direction. The cordiality that once existed across party lines now seems not just rare but impossible. Democrats were plotting to remove Donald Trump from office before he was ever inaugurated. When he left, they tried to put him in prison to prevent him from returning. And they're making no secret of their plan to impeach him once they are back in power, and to launch criminal investigations into staffers for the sole crime of being in the Trump administration.
There’s no cordiality or shared understanding there. It’s hatred. It’s war.
And as much as I can’t stand it, it’s clear that this problem runs deeper than Washington. Washington is just the mirror.
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Americans have stopped being open-minded. More and more people have zero interest in associating with anyone who doesn't share their politics. I've watched this happen in my own life. I've lost friends over politics — not because I ended those friendships, but because they did. And lately, it looks like estrangement from some family members may be coming soon — because of what I write here at PJ Media.
For what it’s worth, I don't know a single conservative who has ended a friendship over politics. It's always the other way around. That doesn't mean conservatives are saints — surely some do cut ties — but I'd bet it's the exception, not the norm. The left has made political purity a social requirement, and the people who don't meet it get cut off.
Washington reflects that. The inability to compromise. The refusal to even engage with people who think differently. The treatment of political opponents not as fellow citizens with different views, but as enemies to be destroyed. It's a genuine loss, and it's hard to watch.
I wish I could say things will get better. I don't know how they can — not when too many people, and always the loudest ones, don't actually want their leaders to work together. They want total victory. They want the other side humiliated.
Reagan and O'Neill understood something people today seem to have forgotten: you can fight hard for what you believe and still treat the other guy like a human being.
