Show me any sport, and I'll show you players who will cheat to win. It's human nature to come out on top, regardless of how they got there.
Cheaters always find "creative" ways to bend rules: Some baseball players stuff bats with cork for extra pop. Now, ski jumpers allegedly pump up something else entirely for, ah, more lift.
The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) faces some bizarre new claims that some male athletes are injecting hyaluronic acid into their, uh, third ski before suit measurements.
The goal?
To trick 3D scanners into allowing bigger suits that catch more air, allowing jumpers to add distance.
The Claim and How It Works
Sparking buzz ahead of the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics, a German newspaper reports that athletes reportedly use hyaluronic acid, a common ingredient in cosmetic fillers, to temporarily enlarge the genital area.
Evidently, up to an inch boost in, sigh, crotch circumference lets the suits fit looser, creating extra surface area for aerodynamics. Studies have shown even small increases cut drag and boost lift, potentially adding meters to jumps.
WADA Responds With Raised Eyebrows
Director General Olivier Niggli admitted limited knowledge of ski jumping but said any doping-related method gets reviewed.
“I am not aware of the details of ski jumping and how this can improve (the performance), but if any sign were to come to the surface, we will look at it. I haven’t heard about that until you mentioned it,” WADA Director General Olivier Niggli told reporters, according to Reuters.
Hyaluronic acid isn't banned yet, the agency clarified, but manipulation for performance could cross the line. Officials vow to watch closely during the games.
Side note: Does HR know adults are watching athletes' crotches during the Olympics?
A History of Sneaky Edges
This echoes baseball's corked bats, when players hollowed out bats and filled them with lighter materials to achieve faster swings and more momentum after the bat strikes the ball.
Or, for that matter, banging on a trash can to signal which pitch is coming.
Cheaters will always chase an edge—whether it’s corking a bat, dosing it with acid, or, well, enhancing more sensitive areas.
Suit scandals have plagued ski jumping for decades: Norway's team faced bans last year for oversized suits.
Now, the focus shifts lower.
What's next? Jumping with full bladders, hoping for some centrifugal force for forward momentum? Or loading shorts full of helium?
The Humor and the Serious Side
This story hits several absurd levels. Imagine explaining to kids why their uncle's favorite sport involves "special injections."
Laughter comes easy, but cheating undermines fair play. Athletes train for years for seconds of flight. Gaining unfair distance through tricks steals from honest competitors.
WADA's probe protects the sports integrity, even if the reason sounds like a bad joke.
Keeping the Sport Clean
Ski jumping thrives on skill, wind, and courage (my weight would grow much lighter as I jumped, not from enhancements; let's just call it "evacuation.")
If true, the culprits risk bans and shame. For now, though, the rumor adds a bit of comic relief to the Olympics. But fair competition matters more than any extra inch.
