All right, y’all, it’s time for another look into the heretical world of progressive Christianity. When it comes to left-wing Christians, Kurt Cobain’s words almost sound like a prophecy: “What else could I say? / Everyone is gay.”
We’ll start with a video from Connie Chen, who calls herself a “Harvard-trained theologian, here to help you reimagine the divine.” What that really means is that she’s a blasphemer.
In an Instagram reel, Chen begins, “Did you know that the Bible ends with men in wedding dresses? That every man in the church is already in a queer marriage with Christ?”
Chen tries to take the Apostle Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5 that human marriage is analogous to Jesus’ relationship with the church literally before continuing:
And a final image of scripture in Revelation is the marriage supper of the Lamb. The bride is the new Jerusalem, every male believer among them. And male brides, you are marrying a non-binary God.
The Trinity is not a nuclear family. It is chosen intimacy without hierarchy. We are all called to queer marriage.
Bless your heart, Connie. Elijah Lamb of TheosU sets her straight:
Herein lies the blunder—and it’s the kind of L that you just can’t ignore once you’ve seen it: If every Christian man is in a queer marriage with Christ, then they are also in a polygamous, incestuous marriage with Christ.
This conclusion is what consistency requires.
Woof.
How did I get there?
The first one is pretty obvious. If we take the actual Biblical metaphor (the “bride of Christ”; shown in seed form by Hosea, Jeremiah, and Isaiah, and brought to maturity by Paul and John) which is always collective, and apply it to individuals, then it contorts, devolves, and stops being itself.
If, when the Bible tells us that we—the people of God—are the single Bride prepared for the Son of God by the Father, we take this metaphor to mean that ‘you’ and ‘I’ are brides of Christ, the text is abused and the metaphor implodes.
The Son of God turns into a chronic adulterer, the very thing God accuses Israel of through the prophets who first gave us this doctrine. The church is no longer a single body, but a bunch of Christ’s concubines and occasional lovers.
Pass.
And there’s more to Chen’s ridiculousness:
The second one is where it gets real wild.
The New Testament teaches that Christians, by virtue of the Father adopting us, become siblings, not just with each other, but with Christ himself. This is an often overlooked fact, but it’s there.
For example, Hebrews 2:11 says that Jesus is “not ashamed to call [us] brothers and sisters.”
And Paul, in Romans 8:29, says that Christ is “the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
If we let these two descriptions run side-by-side as totally literal, then we come to quite the yucky conclusion. The Father begets his Son, and then redeems humanity so that he can have a bunch more kids, born specifically for the purpose of marrying his first kid.
It’s incest.
Not only is this marriage queer, it’s fratriphilic.
It’s remarkable how progressive Christians want to call out mainstream believers for taking the Bible literally, but they want to take things literally that support their left-wing worldview? The cognitive dissonance is glaring.
Related: Progressive Christianity Watch: Flirty God, Lesbian Angels, and Other Things Not in Your Study Bible
Next, let’s travel to Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church in Naperville, Ill., where we peek into one of the most annoying things in Christendom: the responsive reading. This church manages to make the responsive reading even more insufferable by wokifying it:
Reader: You are created in God's image and you are truly God's beloved.
Congregation: Whatever road we took to get here, we are better because we are together.
Reader: We gather today to know Jesus and to make Jesus known.
Congregation: Led by the Holy Spirit, we celebrate the sacredness, dignity, and equality of all persons.
Reader: Come as you are, inclusive of every age, ability, ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, socioeconomic status, spiritual background, marital status, and family structure.
Congregation: God welcomes every hidden difference and weaves us into one body.
Reader: Join us as we work for equity, justice, and love in our congregation and our world.
Congregation: Let us grow and flourish in this loving, safe community.
Reader: Come, let us worship God.
“Come, let us worship God” shouldn’t follow any of that nonsense unless you’re bowing at the altar of wokeness. I don’t think this garbage needs any further explanation.
Checking in on Our Saviour's Lutheran Church - Naperville, with a cursed read and response. pic.twitter.com/3yv39AVZUS
— Woke Preacher Clips (@WokePreacherTV) July 28, 2026
Related: Progressive Christianity Watch: Paul-Bashing, Mother God, and Marxism
Next, North Point Community Church’s Andy Stanley is sliding even further down the rabbit hole of progressive Christianity. What a shame.
North Point Community Church pastor Andy Stanley says attending a gay wedding is ‘good theology’+ disses Rosaria Butterfield. pic.twitter.com/MVbsDpslSe
— Protestia (@Protestia) July 30, 2026
I wonder what his late father, Dr. Charles Stanley, would think if he were still alive.
Finally, I’ll leave you with whatever the literal hell this is.
According to the 'about page,' this is a "faith-based, trauma informed movement practice" that seeks to "explore sacred movement as embodied prayer" in order to "connect to God" by "focusing 7 days on 7 different types of prayer: listening, receiving, blessing, intercession,… pic.twitter.com/ZQHxZXrtgE
— Protestia (@Protestia) July 30, 2026
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