Adventures in The Patriarchy™: Hijabed! Volume VIII

Nov 09, 2026 3:18 PM
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Adventures in The Patriarchy™: Hijabed! Volume VIII
AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty
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Chronicling the ongoing intersectional struggle to liberate women — progressively defined to include the legacy kind and the transgenders — from The Patriarchy™, one microaggression at a time.

The election of Sen. Abdul El-Sayed from Michigan really flipped a switch in the progressive Karen/Instagram influencer hive mind, in that they have inundated social media with videos of themselves in hijabs extolling the virtues of Islam — an act of submission to Third Worldism that I have dubbed “hijabification.”

Hijabing for clicks 

“Look at me, guys! I’m practicing modesty! Watch me twirl in my hot new hijab! My piety knows no limits!”

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To the extent that Allah actually demands that women wear beekeeper suits at all times in public — even though He never actually relayed the specifics to His chosen vessel, the illiterate warlord Mohammed, in His Glorious Revelations — I don’t think the point is to allow attention-hungry women to model their costumes on the internet for clicks.

In fact, I believe the point is very much the opposite of drawing sexual attention to oneself.

Also, under what Social Justice™ rubric does infidels modeling hijabs on TikTok not qualify as “cultural appropriation”?

My sincerely held theory, which I have expounded before, is that all of this Islam fetish is the expression of a deep-seated fetish among Western women to be dominated as a subconscious backlash to girlboss feminism. 

They can’t say it out loud, and they can’t allow themselves to be subjugated by white Christian men (literal Satan), so they are forced to find alternative, socially acceptable outlets. 

Related: Tiny Village Stares Down Migrant Horde, Votes to Leave UK in ‘Declaration of Independence’

Hijabs ‘preserve’ women — like precious diamonds 

The migrant here in her religious uniform, trained in the art of subversive Islamic propaganda, explains that, in fact, wearing bags over your head as a lady in accordance with the wishes of Allah is akin to the protection of a precious stone because that’s just how treasured women truly are under Sharia Law:

Dressing modestly, any honorable woman, any dignified woman would cover herself up because that just as been the custom. And that’s what Islam talks about as well. Like, you I you just pay close attention to the way Islam addresses women, it’s always like you would mention a diamond: preserve her, protect her, take care of her, be gentle with her, you know? This is how Islam addresses women, because it holds us to a certain level.

Related: UK Council Hires Private Security to Shield Schoolgirls From Loitering Migrants

“Be gentle with her!” — obviously the central theme of Islam.

For instance, from the Hadiths on the treatment of women with the utmost delicacy:

  • “The Prophet said, ‘If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.’ Narrated by Abu Huraira.”
  • “The Prophet said, ‘I looked at Paradise and found poor people forming the majority of its inhabitants; and I looked at Hell and saw that the majority of its inhabitants were women.’ Narrated by `Imran bin Husain.”
  • “The Prophet said, ‘A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife.’ Reported by Umar. Abu Dawud 11:2142 and 11:2141; also Ibn Majah 3:9:1986”

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